3 AM.

I lay down — absolutely still. I was the bait. Breathing carefully, I waited. I did not have to wait too long. They came. In great numbers. I raised my weapon. Chinese made. Shaped like a badminton racquet. Deadly. Swift. I waved it in long, dangerous arcs. Zap-tapety-tap-zapety-zap. Electrocuted. Blown to smithereens. I withdrew.

Outside, Bombay danced in the rain.

Generation upon generation of humankind has asked these questions. Some of our ancestors, insecure in their inability to accurately answer them by means of simple reason and observation, created a rather convenient answer — “why, the universe is a world created by a superpowerful, all knowing, superintelligent being.” It is easy to imagine how powerful the insecurity was — different regions of the disconnected old world have at some point, attempted to answer these questions by creating some kind of God – Jehovah, Brahma, Allah, Ra. Some looked towards the sky and observed different stars, planets and patterns created by these entities and said, “these bright lights in the night sky — they’re our Gods!” Others observed basic elements of the physical world — wind, fire, water and said, “these elements here — they’re our Gods!” Still others, created God; not from stars and planets, nor from physical elements but out of nothing at all but some really potent imagination! Each time a God or Gods was/were “created” so was religion. All religions had one common theme — subscribe now and you will be saved from eternal damnation!

Remember, these were disconnected times — so, each religion matured and grew locally. Membership to some religions could only be received by birth — these were consumed by human mortality and in a sense, they died with the race that practiced them. Other religions were receptive and even aggresively recrutive. These flourished and exist even today. As humankind discovered advanced science and technology, travel between disconnected regions of the world became possible. Civilizations clashed. So did their religions. The civilizations with advanced technology engulfed the ones with meager technology. In that way, as ironic as it may sound in the context of the raging science v/s religion debate today, civilizations with greater prowess in science and technology were able to impose their religions and Gods on those with less advanced science and technology. Yes, science helped in the propagation of all major religions that exist today.

It is easy to believe in God and have a safety cushion to fall back on all the time – I almost envy you when I think about my dry, lonely, atheist existence. And yet, some would say, it is easier to be an atheist and do what you like without the fear of reproach or judgment.

At this junction, I will ask a philosophical question — are we better off today as a species – as believers or would we be better off without God and religion? Could we have developed the moral codes and structures that have become the basis of human society on our own?

Let us look at the downside first — God and (in effect) religion has become the major cause of death and conflict in today’s world. Hundreds upon thousands of men, women and children have lost their life in wars and other conflicts caused by religion. In that sense, some would call religion the most deadly, fatal, genetic, contagious epidemic — deadly and fatal because it kills so many thousands, contagious and genetic because it has a tendency to spread within society and from generation to generation and an epidemic because almost everyone in the world is afflicted by it. Religion also makes people believe in extremely unlikely, impossible  (sometimes bordering on insane) things and events — what else can make a grown, highly educated person believe in an entity with the head of an elephant and the body of a man, born to another human-like entity with three eyes and a holy river flowing out of his mane – or in a man who was born without the aid of reproduction, to a virgin mother, was tortured and died for the sins of others and then came back to life only to arise and disappear into the heavens.

Now for the upside — without a set of rules telling us what is right and what is wrong, human beings would eventually resort to cutting each other up. Society would not develop and there would be no organization – and yes, another irony here – science and technology would not be as advanced as they are today. Because, humankind can only develop science and apply it to create technology if the basic existential questions have been answered – the questions would eat into our hearts and we would be so obsessed with finding answers that little else would occupy our minds. This obsession would not let us rise above our basic instinct – survival. Deep down, owing to our evolutionary drive to survive, we are dark, evil things. Yes, without religion we would cease to be human and would become cold, terrifying, incestuous animals. It would be interesting to see if we would be able to weave the moral fabric that religion has woven for us over the centuries without the fear of an all powerful entity watching us or without the fear of eternal damnation. With the kind of evil we have demonstrated in every generation within the scrutiny of religion, it makes me shudder to think of how we would behave without it. Oh, how lonely, miserable and insecure we would feel. Oh, how evil and meaningless our existence would be!

Having presented both sides of the story (with an obvious bias towards one), I would like to end by saying something about tolerance. Whether you are a believer or an atheist, Hindu, Jew, Muslim or Christian; it is important to be respectful and tolerant towards each other. I have a simple philosophy – You have an opinion and I have mine. And if anyone of us thinks we have it all figured out, here is the triumphant, unwavering truth – engrave it in your mind and teach it your children – no one does.

No one ever will.

I dont know what I should do with this weblog. I almost deleted it a few minutes ago.

I dont write often. I am lazy. I am a bum. I like to think of myself as a blogger. But face it, five blogs a year? Really? A blog, you say? Paah!

And I have a lot of ideas — and some opinions, mysticisms, observations etc. Fuck me in the rump and call me Chrissy — why cant I just keep this weblog going?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I’m out.

Until my anus stirs again.

When I glance into a stranger’s window and see a pretty girl curled up on a couch reading Elliots’s Middlemarch, I try to imagine what kind of a person she is and what her life is like. Is she a purist like Dorothea or an idealist like Tertius — or maybe she is both.

Or when I see an old man, deeply engrossed in his cigarette, I try to imagine what he is thinking about and how old he is and almost instantly — how long he has been smoking (for most smokers or ex-smokers, an old man holding a cigarette instantly evokes their long buried hope that one can continue smoking and live to be old)

A window offers the owner and an observer many insights. To an owner, it offers a view of the world outside and all the hues and depths it has to offer. To an observer, it offers the opportunity to judge — without fear of rebuke.

For an instant, the observer and the subject (through the window) are connected by some invisible karmic bond. The subject is, of course, unaware of this intrusion of privacy while the observer’s mind gleefully soaks in details –  constructs hypothetical structures around the subject. This “spell” is broken, if the observer loses perspective or if the subject realizes that he or she is being observed.

Such “intellectual” eavesdropping is generally different from “recreational” eavesdropping. However, that does not make it any less intrusive. Or rude.

At such times, you realize that you are no longer the same person you were in some recent memory. If you are sensitive, your mind may react with shock to such conclusion. And you may, if the transformation in question has negative repercussions, start making conscious efforts to reverse the transformation.

Such denial is healthy to a certain extent. Beyond a particular threshold (defined conveniently, by the nature of the situation), such denial can lead to emotional injury. It is important to be wary of such denial and make only controlled and externally aided efforts to negate the change. The most effective external aid is the support of family and friends and such support should be solicited aggressively.

However, a large percentage of the times, the transformation in question is positive and it is important to treat the realization of such transformation with the respect it deserves. Often, celebrating such transformation is important to obtain closure. Closure is the single most important factor in the acceptance of personal change.

Why do we permit such evil to exist? Why don’t we just ask the Divine Being to strike such evil down? Why would such monstrosity be allowed to breathe the same air we breathe, live in the same world as we. You and I.

In the increasingly evil, self consumed world that we live in, sometimes, we feel the negative energy drag us down, consume our happiness, destroy our hope, devour our love and infest in us a hardened self sustained source of hatred and materialistic madness.

For a moment, just reflect upon the evil that has plagued our world since the beginning of this new century. We need to wake up to reality. The world is a mess, right now. And we seem to have submitted to the grim stage of evil and destruction it presents today.

Men and women, my fellow citizens of the world, pray for a vocation! A call from the Divine Being Himself. So He may wake us from the deep slumber of ignorance. Escape from the prison of self content and comfort — because these just inspire rest.

Sharpen your blades, O brethren. Let us form an army and restore our world!

Viva Revolution!